A Love To Feel
by diva jay
Summary: Love. It is such a magical word for everyone. Even for people who don't understand it. What happens when they start to understand the meaning of it from someone whom they never ever thought was capable of it? What if they begin to realize that LOVE is not just a magical heaven but something more than that? What if they realize that at times it could be a burning hell too?
1. Why?

Disclaimer: I do not own The Heirs. This is for entertainment purpose only.

Author's Note: I had been longing to write this story but the time never clicked. A huge thanks to all those writers who had done Young-Ra fics. It is because of you guys that my ship sailed (at least in our imagination ;)). This is what I want to happen after Episode 20 so I wrote it down and thought 'why not share it?' I'm sure there are many fans that still yearn for more Young Do and Rachel (coz they are _irresistible_ ). For some people who hate Rachel, I just want to say "If you are capable of forgiving both Kim Tan _and_ Young Do then you can forgive Rachel too. If not, you are simply being a die-hard fan of the actors and not a fan of the actual drama."It would be mostly in Reader's POV but it would change at some places. Italics are used to emphasis the stress on the word. Bold Italics are to represent words spoken in English (Because Rachel kicks ass in English). So, here we go…

Chapter 1: Why?

Rachel was contemplating her life on her flight back to Seoul because she had nothing better to do. She had already read a pile of magazines to keep herself busy and it had started to annoy her. She looked down on her Versace wrist watch. Still five hours left. She was returning to Seoul after spending her winter break at Maldives just like her mother had suggested. She turned to her right and glanced at her mother who was sitting right beside her holding a fashion magazine and listening to some news on-air through the headphones. Had it been a month before, her mother would not choose to sit beside Rachel. Esther would have left an empty seat between them which wouldn't bother Rachel because that's how their relationship is. Empty. Or was. She didn't know which term to use. And it clawed at her. Because if Rachel had something to hold up with pride, it would be her ability to be certain about everything she knew. But now, this, the decrease of the level of proximity between her and Esther made her uncertain. Unsure of everything. This feeling had started on the day when Esther had given the idea of this trip. But Rachel kept pushing it to the back of her mind, because she didn't expect Esther to go all motherly on her. The last ten days had been like being in a whirlpool for Rachel. Maybe for Esther too.

One moment she wanted to run away from this till her legs gave up, and the next she didn't want this to go away. Not to ever leave. As said she wasn't sure of anything and for some unknown reason she was always on edge. They had gone around and done everything in Maldives from shopping to site-seeing. Esther took every opportunity to be close to Rachel like holding hands while walking, slinging her arm around Rachel's shoulder, patting her head, winking at some random joke she tried so hard to deliver. Even as far as going to take pictures with Rachel at some scenery spots in which Rachel stood like a wooden stick while Esther did all of the funny acts. Rachel didn't know what she felt. Awe, confusion, frustration, fear and something else that kept creeping on her which she couldn't quite name. Rachel didn't know what to do about this. She didn't know whether to accept and play along or to disregard it. Because Esther always had some ulterior motive behind her every move. And she could even be mocked by her mother if she fell for it. She was a ball of emotions and it had burst one day when they were having lunch in a beach restaurant. Esther dipped the salmon well in the curry and extended the fork towards Rachel. Rachel couldn't comprehend anything and simply gaped at her mother. When did mother become so affectionate and friendly? Why is she being like this? Why now? After all that has happened? Why start loving her after Rachel was forced to thoroughly hate herself by her ex-fiancée and peers. Why couldn't she love her when she was full of empathy and not bitterness? Why couldn't she love her when she was capable of it? Why now after she had been forced not to trust and love anyone even though she didn't know how to? Why now after thoroughly screwing her? Why all the wasted love? Why? Why? Why? Suddenly her childhood with her father giving her piggy-back ride and her mother laughing at their antics came in front of her and it only reminded her of all the things she didn't have. All that was taken away from her harshly. It infuriated her. And that's what she did."Why are you being so affectionate all of a sudden? Huh? Just give it to me straight. Is there any new chaebol boy that I should get engaged to? ", she spat. Rachel looked through narrowed eyes that Esther stumbled looking like she had been shot but after fractions of second she recovered. Esther put up her optimistic smile and said,"I thought you'd like it" and took the bite from the fork and chewed meticulously to hide her disappointment. "It's delicious", she supplied and continued on with her meal.

Rachel was brought back to reality by the light tapping on her right hand. As expected, it was Esther patting her hand which was resting on the armrest. Rachel sighed and trying to relax she took a deep breath. Her head ached and her eyes became watery. She was having a very hard time sleeping since the chaos that was the breakup of her engagement. And the present situation didn't do any help in easing the pain she felt whenever she thought about her engagement. A failed one. She called the Air Hostess and asked for water. Her name-tag said Dara. She returned with a bottle of water. Rachel received the bottle and dismissed her. Her mother raised her eyebrows in question. Rachel shook her head and gulped down the water and decided to take a nap and shut her window pane.

Rachel woke up with a start to hear the announcement of landing. Rachel felt a bit relieved after the little slumber. Everyone gathered their belongings anticipating the landing and so did Rachel and Esther. They grabbed their respective handbags and throwed on their sunglasses. It would be evening in Seoul. Then the speaker again boomed saying that the landing will be delayed by some minutes because of the busy runway. Rachel opened her window shield to a glowing pink hue. It reminded her of the mess down there to handle. A mess she foolishly made in the process of trying to hurt Kim Tan and Cha Eun Sang. Except she was the one who ended up hurt. And Young Do. She was surprised that she considered Young Do's feelings. Maybe that's how people work. She told herself. Little did she know that it would be the cause of something lovely _and_ drastic in her future endeavors.


	2. School Day

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. This is for entertainment purposes only.

Author's Note: I am incredibly sorry for the way I left this story hanging like this. I really feel bad for that and the fact I got 4 reviews just makes me so happy. Thank you so much for those who reviewed and faved my story. I'm glad you guys like it. I will update this story as frequently as possible. I am writing as I am updating so it might take a few days for the next update. Thanks again for being very supportive.

Chapter 2: School Day

Rachel was standing in front of the floor-length mirror adjusting the collar of her white shirt. The sleeves were lacy in their whole length. Rachel loved her school uniform. The color complex of royal blue blazers and beige skirt just screamed 'Elite'. She took the blazer which was draped over a plush chair behind her and put it on. She turned around and reached her bed stand and picked the Name tag and pinned it to her blazer.

She then reached for her dresser and pulled the drawers. She picked her usual faded pink MAC lipstick and filled her lips with it. As she was inspecting herself in the mirror she suddenly had the idea of growing her bangs out. Yes! She would go for it. It would give a much matured look to her. Plus it would be refreshing. A change. A good one. Just like Young Do had done.

She slammed her lipstick tube on the dresser, at that thought. This is the third time she had thought about that asshole in the last twenty four hours and compared herself to him. Which is disturbing to say the least. Because he is a bully. Okay, a former bully who ranked before the last. Well, didn't he place 37th in the last exam? Fine, he was just a bad person all around. And what are you? Miss goody-two-shoes? Oh, that's Cha Eun Sang. Don't even think of going there, Rachel. That's a whole other can of worms.

So, you are just as vicious as him! Yes! But she didn't go around slamming fellow students against the locker or going around picking on low lives. No! She was the first ranker before that Chan Young came. She had a pristine record of her academics which could land her in an Ivy League smoothly. There is nothing that she did she felt guilty for. She had no reason for wanting to change herself. Okay, the last one was not entirely true. But they had nothing to do with her doings in school. Maybe partly. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Rachel let out a long breath and massaged her temples. You hadn't even stepped into school and you've already developed a migraine. And how the hell are you going to deal with those nutcases you call classmates? Calm down Rachel, calm down. To put an end to her inner monologue she stood up and picked her school bag from her study table and pocketed her phone and left her room with a click of the lock and of her heel.

Now the breakfast session! She glided down the stairs and took a right for the dining table. Mom would either be there or she would already be out. Either way, you are going to go straight, wish her if she was there, eat enough and get the hell out of there. Nothing more, nothing less!

Surprisingly or not so surprisingly her mother was indeed sitting at one end of the table enjoying her soup with a spoon in one hand and her mobile phone on the other. Rachel sat down at the other end. "Good morning, mother", she wished and turned her plate up. The maids came up and offered her the food that was arranged in the center. None of them were appetizing though they were decorated artfully. Instead she asked for sandwiches and one of the maids left to bring them. This caught her mother's attention. Uh-oh!

"Are you still having problem with your appetite, Rachel?" she shot.

"No mother, I just didn't feel like having anything heavy."

Esther nodded and turned her attention to the mobile phone once again. After finishing the breakfast, Rachel stood up and draped her bag onto her back.

"Bye, Mother" she said and was about to leave when Esther spoke," Why don't you give your mother a hug? It is your first day after all."

Hug? First day?! What is she? A kindergartener?! But she couldn't move. Not to her escape and neither to her mother. Esther saw her hesitation and turned her attention to her breakfast, sure that Rachel would just simply leave pretending to not have heard it.

Esther was shocked, pleasantly so, when Rachel gave her a sideways hug and left. Esther couldn't help her gleeful smile that even the maids were astonished. Well they are making progress!

You are getting really soft Rachel! She berated herself for her actions just a moment ago. But she couldn't help it. She was her … Omma. She left that thought at that. No use in getting emotional now.

She got past the living room and the foyer and was out the door and straight into the elevator of their two-storey penthouse without even thinking. The elevator ride seemed to take too long to end. She stepped off the elevator and reached the entrance of their apartment and into the daylight. Her driver came up to her with the car and she slid into the backseat.

"School" she supplied and pulled her cell phone out.

Nothing new, just the childish excitement of her peers starting their final school year. On the other hand, Rachel couldn't wait to finish the school year. And then she would be out of here and off to college somewhere in the west.

She looked up from her mobile phone and into the streets. They were just the usual. After a few minutes Jeguk high came into her field of vision. Her car entered the school and halted near the entrance.

Rachel could already feel her nerves getting worked up. Rachel, Take it head on! You can do this! She told herself, thanked her driver and stepped out of the car. She stood rooted there till her car left through the other entrance. Students were already milling around but she had yet to see any familiar face. She took a deep breath. Here we go!


End file.
